Hilarious Truths About Being a Boy Mom

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Hilarious Truths About Being a Boy Mom

Raising happy, healthy kids isn't a gendered endeavor, but to say that raising boys and girls is the same would be a stretch. The term "boy mom" arose to capture the comradery between mothers learning how to parent sons.

Some question whether being a "boy mom" is really a thing, but most of them agree that it totally is. About to have a son? Brace yourself for these hilarious realities of parenting little boys. It's a wild ride.

You Learn These Lessons Pretty Quick

If It Can Be Climbed On, It Will Be

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And If It Can Be Licked, It Will Be Licked.

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As a Boy Mom, the Entire World Becomes a Playground

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We Checked the Math. Adds Up.

Raising boys is 43% destruction, 15% grocery shopping, 84% talking about poop, 78% cleaning & 52% farts. You can check my math.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) February 1, 2018

Doing Laundry Never Ends

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Boy Moms Double as Detectives. Still Easier Than Waiting for Them to Find Things Themselves.

15 minutes until my son's soccer practice.

In kid time, 12 minutes until he looks for his shin guards. 13 minutes until he finds just ONE.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) April 11, 2017

One’s Priorities Shift

My son forgot his homework, library book & snack, but the important thing is that all 64 of his transformers are packed and ready for school
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 6, 2017

And Everything You Own Has Potential as a Percussion Instrument

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Think Seven A.M. Is Too Early for a Nerf Gun Battle? You Are Wrong.

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Might as Well Hone Your Fencing Skills Now

Parenting little boys means finding a light saber on your pillow & hearing "wanna battle?" whispered 2 inches from your face. At 6 a.m.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) February 16, 2017

In Fact, as a Boy Mom, You Become a Professional at Ducking

When you're a mom of boys, you stop saying "no throwing in the house" & just learn to catch whatever is thrown your way.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 4, 2015

You’ll Ask Yourself, 'Why Is This Wet?' More Times Than You Ever Anticipated

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But Eventually, You’ll Just Stop Asking

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Because Do You Really Want To Know the Answer?

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As a Boy Mom, It’s Totally Possible to Be on a First-Name Basis With the Nurses at Urgent Care

My son’s gonna use his skateboard for the first time today if anyone has a cast he can borrow.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 22, 2018

If You Have Two Sons, Accept That Bedtime Just Got a Lot More Complicated

Batman vs. Superman starring my boys in their pajamas fighting to keep each other awake.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal) August 23, 2016

Yet, Strangely, It Can Happen Anywhere

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At Some Point, You Discover That Your Partner Is Basically a Big Little Boy

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Which Is a Good Thing, Because This Is a Lot

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There’s One Particular Challenge of Being a Boy Mom That Parents of Girls Never Have to Consider

Just caught my 3 year old strumming his penis like a guitar, in case you were wondering what it’s like to raise boys.
— The Real American Dadass (@R_A_Dadass) February 14, 2019

'Get Your Hands Out of Your Pants' Becomes a Normal Thing to Say

At least 80% of raising boys is asking them to get their hands out of their pants.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) February 23, 2017

Seriously, You’ll Hear Yourself Giving the Weirdest Instructions

Dinosaurs Become a Bigger Part of Life Than You Ever Anticipated

My 3 year old tried to remove a stain from our couch by using a dinosaur to fight it.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) September 12, 2017

'Put on Your Pants' Is More of a Light Suggestion Than a Rule

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And If You Can’t Beat 'Em, Why Not Join 'Em?

Was arguing with my 2 y/o for 30 minutes about why he needs to wear his pants and now we're both sitting in our underwear eating donuts
— paperwash© (@PaperWash) October 13, 2013

Boy Moms Get Asked the Most Unusual Questions

My son just asked me if cats can have babies when they aren't married and I told him yes, but I honestly don't know.
— elizabeth (@Elizasoul80) March 1, 2016

And All Too Often, You’ll Get the Answer Wrong

My son asked me
"Where does poo come from?"
I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation.
He looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
— Zack Riley (@ColdHeart_Prj) January 2, 2020

Sometimes, You Won’t Even Know How to Respond

"but who wiped God's butt?"

- my son, on a theologian's quest
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) March 27, 2022

Questioning Your Sanity Used to Mean You Were Swamped at Work. Now, It’s Just Tuesday.

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You’ll Realize That Every Household Item Doubles as a Weapon

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You’ll Seriously Consider Buying Stock in Febreze

My 8-year-old masked the smell of his fart by taking off his shoes and this is all you need to know about having a son.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 23, 2019

Teaching Them to Aim Is Important, for Obvious Reasons

How to clean your bathroom when you're a boy mom: 1) Douse the toilet with gasoline. 2) Light it on fire.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) October 7, 2016

Yet the Lesson Never Really Seems to Stick

If you want to know what unconditional love looks like, potty train a little boy, and continue to do so until he goes to college.
— bottom of my purse (@Bottomofmypurse) January 22, 2018

As Chaotic as Little Boys May Be, Their Hearts Are in the Right Place

My 3yo "accidentally" unspooled the entire roll of toilet paper. But don't worry, he "fixed" it. pic.twitter.com/MFKWJ2rNqi
— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) October 24, 2014

Boy Moms Develop a Thick Skin

Son: Mom you look like you're 20 ...
Me: Awwwww
Son: ... thousand years old.
— Deva Dalporto (@mylifesuckers) July 11, 2016

Because Kids Really Have Us Out Here Questioning Our Life’s Purpose

10: Mom what's a metaphor?

Me: My life is a train wreck.

10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
— Sardonic Tart (@SardonicTart) December 12, 2014

And Whether Our Concealer Is Pulling Its Own Weight

i’ll never forget that my son called me ugly when he was 2 months . pic.twitter.com/8BZdl1AkTY
— (@_lulkat) December 12, 2019

Once in a While, Boy Moms Deserve to Give Their Kids a Taste of Their Own Medicine

My son asked what's it like to be a mom so I asked him what he wants to do today and kept saying "No, we'll do what I want" until he cried.
— Beth (@bourgeoisalien) June 28, 2015

Being a Boy Mom Entails Getting Yelled at to Come Play Minecraft, and Then Yelled at for Playing It Wrong

Welcome to your son’s 8th birthday, you’re a GameStop rewards member now.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 16, 2018

The Request for More Games Never Ends

[at my funeral]
MY KID: *leans into my coffin and whispers* can i play a game on your phone?
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) September 11, 2019

When You Have Sons, the Level of Ambient Sound in the House Hovers Somewhere Between 'Crowded Airport' and 'Nuclear War'

I just asked my 8yo to quit yelling and he said, "I'm NOT yelling. This is my voice and all my life I've been whispering. Now I'm free!"
— JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) December 21, 2013

But Little Boys Always Have a Way of Making up for the Chaos

I took my son to the doctor because he had a fever last night. Dr asked what it was and 10 fronted me out, “Oh she doesn’t know the number. She used her therMOMeter. You know? Kiss on the forehead and then she said oh, you have a fever.”

Dr. nodding his head, “Accurate.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) February 28, 2020

They’ll Inspire You Daily With Their Optimism

Just once, I want to wake up with the same sense of renewed optimism my 5yo has as he requests candy for breakfast for the 25th day in a row
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 6, 2016

Not to Mention With Their Self-Confidence

My brother made a cute fake passport at school today & cAN U ALL JUST pic.twitter.com/dNaS0E3HRC
— (@ZarinaMuhammad) May 3, 2019

Your Life as a Boy Mom Might Be Messier, but It’s the Most Beautiful Mess You’ve Ever Seen

Drawing of me pulling an all nighter to meet a grant deadline last week. I hope the grant reviewers have just as much confidence in me as my son does. #AcademicMom #BoyMom pic.twitter.com/WjDFWgUs9s
— Jessica Raper (@JessicaRaperPhD) March 30, 2022