As a father of five, comedian Jim Gaffigan has plenty of material to draw from. (The family of seven, including his wife Jeannie, lived together in a two-bedroom apartment in Manhattan, for one). In his best-selling, 2013 book,“Dad Is Fat,” he wrote to his kids, “Well, since you’ve come into my life, you’ve been a constant source of entertainment while simultaneously driving me insane. I felt I had to write down my observations about you in a book. And also for money, so you could eat and continue to break things.”
On not getting enough sleep: “There should be a children’s song: ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.’”
On bedtime: "Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.'"
On being a father: “Most of the time, I feel entirely unqualified to be a parent. I call these times being awake.”
On having a large brood: “You know what it's like having a fourth kid? Imagine you're drowning, then someone hands you a baby.