18 Comics That Speak the Truth About Parenting
It’s often hard to put into words the good, the bad and the downright bizarre aspects of parenting. The can’t-get-your-kid-to-eat vegetables phase. The 20 million questions phase. The oh-my-god-my-child-has-turned-into-the-worst-version-of-me phase.
Luckily, these hilarious comics speak the truth when it comes to poignant moments that all parents experience throughout the first 18 years of parenting.
Can we be honest for a minute? No matter how beautiful a newborn is to a new mom, to the rest of the world it’s a little weird looking. And gross. Miraculous, but gross.
It’s OK, moms. They get cuter by the day, and pretty soon the rest of the world will be as in love with your angel as you are — almost.
Nearly every day, there’s something new to protect our kids from. And hey, I’m not suggesting you roll your kid in Round-up to get rid of lice or tell organic produce to suck it. Being informed and cautious is good … until you drive yourself crazy, that is.
Do your best to buy natural products and avoid reheating plastic, by all means. But if you microwave one single bottle in a state of exhausted desperation, it’ll be our little secret.
What is THIS about? Like, really? You’ll suck on a grimy, green penny and eat dog food, but when offered a single vegetable you act like you’re literally being murdered?
EXPLAIN YOURSELVES, TODDLERS.
You know how they always say, “Honesty is the best policy”?
The curiosity of a 5-year-old is fascinating, if only they would occasionally take a break.
Because after question 456, we sure as heck need one.
Every parent's heart explodes the first time their child hands them a drawing. And the second time. And the third. OK, every time. We LOVE their artwork.
There’s just so … much? Despite the crushing guilt, it's best to pick your favorites and sneak the others into the recycling bin in the dead of night.
Look, math isn’t supposed to change. It’s MATH. Why would you go and change something that already made sense?
We already did our time, and now we have to go and learn it again? That’s not very nice.
Sometimes, your kid gets the lead in her dance recital. Sometimes, she’s flower No. 3 in a school play that’s at least an hour and a half longer than necessary. She’s still cute, of course.
But that doesn’t make the play (or sitting around at soccer practice, group music lessons, swim meets, etc.) any more exciting. Dozing off now and again is fine in our book. Just do it subtly.
The trends. They are coming. Do they make sense? Not really. Are they fun? They must be because, once your kid learns to floss, they will never stop. Never.
At least planking is over?
You want space? Well kid, I haven’t had space since nine months before you were born. You can have space when you can buy it yourself.
Or at least help unload the dishwasher now and then.
You can’t cheer if your kid knocks the daylights out of the jerk who’s been bullying them daily. You definitely can’t laugh if they actually tell them to suck it. That would be wrong.
But after you give a solid lecture on being the bigger person and asking an adult for help, we know you’re secretly dying to give them a high five.
You know that moment when you start really seeing pieces of yourself in your child? It’s amazing, right up until you realize they’ve inherited more than your awesomeness.
You’ve passed down some crazy, and you’re going to have to figure out how to raise that into a fully functional adult. Fun, but also a little bit terrifying.
The world has a lot of rules. Many of them do not make a great deal of sense. Having to memorize random information that will literally never apply to your actual life, for one.
You know what also makes sense, though? Not failing middle school. Put that in your hat, whiny seventh graders.
You know that awkward age when you’re sort of responsible enough to go to the mall unsupervised, and sort of still an idiot? Yeah, we’ve all been there.
That’s why we do crazy things like stalk our teenagers from behind potted plants.
Continuing the thought, you DO trust your teen — mostly. Then, you watch the news and remember that even well-mannered, straight-A students still have partially developed frontal lobes and the impulse control of a drunk monkey.
A little extra supervision can’t hurt, right? Just in case.
Wait, wasn’t he just learning to walk? And now he’s getting behind the wheel of a car? That can’t be right.
While we can’t advise you to legitimately track your teenager’s every move or bug his phone, we can’t blame you for thinking about it.
No matter how much you love your precious progeny, they’re also kind of a lot at this point. They’re essentially living out their lives in the body of an adult man, but with the personal hygiene and organizational skills matched by the average 4-year-old.
You’re never done with them, but you’re SO done with their messes. The days until college are numbered, but theeen...
When the day to send them off into the world finally comes, you’re never really ready. They have so much to learn, and for the first time, they’ll be doing it without you there to catch them.
The good news? You might not be ready, but they totally are. They’ll be fine. And when they aren’t, they know they have a great parent just a phone call away.