These 35 Creepy Kids' Toys Will Give You Nightmares
Within any child’s toy arsenal, there are certain toys that may stick out from the pack. There are the toys that are soft and cuddly that are excellent for comfort. And there are noisy, loud, repetitive toys that parents can’t wait for their kids to stop using.
But there are also those creepy toys. The ones that you hope your kid will never notice because there’s something unsettling about them. Or there are the toys that well-intentioned grandparents passed down to your child that you feel obligated to play with, even though just being in the same room with them makes you feel icky.
Here are 35 of the weirdest and most disturbing kids' toys from recent history. If you have an upcoming child’s birthday or celebration you need a gift for, be sure to steer clear of anything on this unsettling list.
35. Airborne Microbes Screaming Diseases
Even before the global pandemic, the idea of germs being cute wasn’t exactly charming. Most parents spend their days actively fighting their child from ingesting germs through any number of surfaces kids love to touch (and infants love to put their mouths on).
But now, after a year like 2020, these screaming airborne microbes are something most people will want to socially distance their children from.
34. MC Supersized OG Half Xray Secret Base by Ron English
While this is likely more a collectible than a toy, Ronald McDonald was originally created as a fun character for kids to enjoy McDonalds foods.
So, creating a take-home toy that bears resemblance to him yet shows parts of him (like his skeleton) that we never needed to see isn’t exactly appealing to the average kid.
33. Scan-It Operation Checkpoint XRay Toy Set
Traveling with children isn’t exactly fun. And, unsurprisingly, there’s nothing fun about giving children a toy that reminds them of the security checkpoints at the airport.
Having to take out all your belongings and search for possible weapons does nothing but remind everyone playing that people sometimes carry dangerous weapons on them. And that you have to remove all sorts of clothes and bags whenever you want to go anywhere. That’s absolutely nobody’s idea of a good time.
32. Sixfinger Toy Topper
Since when is having only five fingers something that causes boredom? And since when is the addition of one simple, immobile finger on one hand something so novel and exciting that it opens up a world of play possibilities?
And why can’t we get the vision of an overly excited child with six large fingers waving at us out of our minds?
31. Pennywise Clown Doll
Clowns are creepy enough. But taking the image of an iconic, child-snatching, made-to-be-scary clown from a very popular horror film and turning into a doll doesn’t exactly give someone the warm fuzzies.
And this very real-looking replica doesn’t even try to show Pennywise as anything other than a killer in an extremely menacing-looking clown costume.
30. “Crazy 4 You” Vermont Teddy Bear
The name of this bear is sweet enough. And we would imagine it was originally created as an homage to the fact that love can make us do crazy things sometimes.
But actually putting a teddy bear in a straight jacket and pretending children will go, well, crazy for it is an idea that must have come from someone not in their right mind.
29. Tickle Me Elmo
When Tickle Me Elmo hit the shelves, it was the hot ticket toy of the mid-90s.
But once the hype around the exciting Elmo doll died down, people started to realize that, after a while, the giggles and the demands Elmo made on your time (and your hands) would quickly get irritating.
28. Poopsie Slime Surprise
Strangely enough, there’s a lot of lore around unicorn poop. And that’s likely where the inspiration for this odd toy comes from. But to take that lore and people’s joking admiration of the fictitious feces and turn it into a doll that actually sits in front of you and poops is an arguably unnecessary step.
Plus, the fact that this doll just stares wide-eyed at you and smiles while it poops is an image that you won’t easily be able to erase from your brain.
27. Symptoms Toys
If you always wished you could have a walking WebMD that your child could play with while they worried about whatever ailments they have, this is the dream toy for you.
Not only is the inspiration behind these toys questionable, the actual physical toys themselves embody the actual ailments they describe way too well for comfort.
26. Kidrobot Vibrating Plush Toys
While some of these plush toys are cute and might actually bring joy to a little one, others are not even close.
We can see the appeal of your very own Stitch doll or a Spongebob covered in a rainbow. But why would someone ever want a Chucky vibrating plush complete with a stitched up face, a deadly smirk and a bloody knife? Yikes!
25. Midge & Baby Barbie
Actually growing and giving life is a beautiful thing. Recreating it in Barbie form with the baby in mommy’s belly … maybe not. Sure, it’s a little uncomfortable to see Midge with a baby in her belly that you can casually deliver at home.
But what really makes this doll terrifying is how she doesn’t look like she put on absolutely any weight during this pregnancy.
24. 3 Faced Dolls
In other elements of life, getting multiple items when you only expected or paid for one is an exciting deal. But when it comes to baby faces, there should only be one per baby body.
This doll takes the idea of having eyes in the back of your head to the next level. And that is not a level that most people ever, ever need to venture to.
23. Uncle Milton’s Remote Control Tarantula
For most parents, there’s only so much brain capacity you can handle before you are guaranteed to forget something. In this case, even though it may seem like a funny idea to give your child a tarantula toy to play with, there’s a solid chance that at some point in the future, you will forget that you did, and you will come upon a terrifying tarantula in your face.
Plus, what happens the one time you think your kid is playing with their toy and it is a real one?
22. Jill the Talking Doll
Anytime a doll starts to form sentences or make eye contact, that’s typically a hard pass for most parents. Jill is particularly creepy in that she moves on her own while she talks. And she has that far-off animatronic stare with those straightforward eyes that will seem to follow you around the room for a long time.
This is the type of toy that you wouldn’t be surprised to find sitting next to the bed when you wake up in the middle of the night.
21. Meanies Plush Toys
It’s fair to say that not every toy has to be totally cute and cuddly. But to create a toy that looks like a dead, run-over cat and market it to children (many of whom may have cats at home that they love) seems like a very bad idea.
And if that weren’t bad enough, this line of toys also contains a headless bird named “Donnie Didn’t Duck.” No ducking thank you.
20. Jack in the Box
Even though the movie “Elf” makes these classic toys look simple and fun, there’s still something that gets most parents wound up about this wind-up toy. Maybe it’s the overly happy clown. Maybe it’s the way its body seems to move on its own. Maybe it’s the fact that sometimes it feels like it has a mind of its own.
Whatever it is, these toys need to stay off the shelves and out of children’s bedrooms.
19. Psycho Sally Doll
Nothing says “goodnight” like giving your child their favorite comfort toy — from one of the most iconic and terrifying psychological horror movies of all time. Right? We don’t think so.
If Alfred Hitchcock created the character, it’s likely not something a child needs to play with (or learn about for a very long time).
18. Breastmilk Baby Doll
Breastfeeding is a magical bonding time between mothers and their children. But teaching young children — specifically young girls — to breastfeed is not only creepy, it’s also inappropriate.
And for anyone who has actually breastfed, it’s not exactly child’s play.
17. Dismember Me Plush Zombie
For most full-grown adults, zombies are something that keep them up at night. The idea that a child would ever need or want a zombie of their own that they can specifically rip apart and see the entrails of is mind-boggling.
It’s almost like the creator of this lacked braiiiins.
16. Teddy Ruxpin
Children of the 1980s likely remember Teddy Ruxpin well. While at the time it seemed somewhat normal to walk around with a semi-sentient teddy bear, it was also a time when jelly shoes and fanny packs were considered fashionable.
In short, it was a decade that made mistakes. And thinking Teddy Ruxpin is anything other than a creepy kind-of-talking doll is one of those mistakes.
15. Cry Babies
One of the best parts about your child growing out of their infant years is that you no longer have to listen to the incessant cries of an infant.
Unless, of course, you want to buy your child these realistic-sounding dolls that not only cry loudly, but also shed actual water tears when you take away their pacifier.
14. Play Doh Doctor Drill N’ Fill
Even the name of this toy isn’t exactly appealing. Sometimes, when you go to the dentist, it’s for a simple check in or tooth cleaning.
Not every session has to be filled with the high-pitched sounds of shiny and scary-looking tools attacking you when you’re open-mouthed and vulnerable. But that’s not the impression this bizarrely themed Play Doh would give you.
13. Remote Control Cockroach
Cockroaches often come as a result of unhygienic circumstances. And they don’t usually just show up one at a time, but as part of large infestations. They’re gross, weird-looking and strong enough to supposedly survive a nuclear apocalypse.
But, please, by all means, let’s give our children one of these to play around with so they think they’re pets and not pests.
12. Two-Headed Troll Doll
You know the old saying that two heads are better than one?
Well, it only takes one quick glance at this tiny troll doll and the four eyes that stare back at you on top of one body for you to realize that the phrase doesn’t apply in every circumstance.
11. Poo Dough
Parents spend most of their child’s early years cleaning up their poop. Even after they’re potty trained (which is a whole fun fecal adventure unto itself), there’s still years of excrement already haunting all sorts of corners and crevices of any well-loved home.
So, the idea of giving a child a toy that mimics the very items you’re actively striving to keep out of the house doesn’t make any sense.
The Furby, in theory, is a good idea. Children love something to take care of, like a pet, but don’t always have the actual attention span or ability to take on responsibility that another living creature needs.
Just because it isn’t technically alive doesn’t mean you won’t stay up at night anxious to hear a quiet “I love you” coming from the bottom of the clothing drawer you’ve stashed it in to keep it out of sight.
9. Little Miss Muffet Action Figure
This action figure reimagines the classic story of Little Miss Muffet. But one look at the oversized spider attacking this action figure, and you’ll quickly realize why the nursery rhyme has remained unchanged for so many years.
Of course, it may not sink in at first. But later in the evening, when you’re having nightmares about being attacked by an oversized spider, you’ll be scared off your tuffet.
8. Little Miss No Name Dolls
Supposedly, the idea behind this odd Hasbro doll was to make people feel bad and basically guilt them into purchasing the doll. It didn’t seem to pan out, as the doll was discontinued not long after production began.
Maybe someone at the company finally actually looked at it and saw just how creepy their creation turned out to be.
7. Musical Jolly Chimp
Even though this doll had a role in “Toy Story 3” that tried to normalize it for the rest of the world, there’s still something just generally off about the design of this toy. Maybe it’s because of Steven King’s 1980 story, “The Monkey,” about a possessed monkey that simply won’t leave people’s minds.
Or maybe it’s just the way-too-wide eyes and the over-enthusiastic cymbals. Whatever it is, this is easily one of the creepiest toys that somehow remains in circulation.
6. Face Bank
What’s a good way of teaching children about the value of a dollar? We can tell you what it’s not. And it’s not this creepy and unnervingly life-like bank that slowly eats whatever money you feed it while maintaining solid eye contact with you.
We’d be most nervous about what happens when you try to take your money back from whatever this thing is.
5. Zombie Teddy Bear
Zombies and teddy bears do not go together. The cuddly face of a bear is not even slightly improved when it is covered in blood with half of its skull showing.
And the fact that these toys remain plush, which makes them seem like they’re meant to be cuddled with, is just icing on the disgusting, dead cake.
4. Jethro Clown Doll
There are plenty of clowns and clown-inspired toys already on this list. But this particular clown by Effanbee is easily one of the creepiest toys in existence. There’s nothing soft or welcoming about him. And unlike Pennywise who you know to actually run from, part of what makes this clown so frightening is the fact that his face remains so blank and so neutral.
What’s he up to? What does he want? And why did they ever make this toy for children?
3. Feisty Pets Sir Growls-A-Lot
A teddy bear does not require a lot of upgrades in order to function perfectly. And if you are going to change something about the bear, don’t give it a face that goes from happy and welcoming to terrifying and angry.
Plus, unless we’re walking in the woods and encounter an actual bear, we never need to be reminded that they have strong and bone-crunching teeth.
Annabelle is a doll made famous for being possessed by a demonic spirit. Even a regular, non-possessed porcelain doll can be unnerving. Yet this doll looks like a replica of the very famous one from “The Conjuring” movie that people know because it was possessed by an evil, active, demonic spirit.
So, someone please explain to us why anyone who has ever seen the movie and knows what happens to the people who bring this doll into their home would want to do that.
1. Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces
There’s nothing creepier than someone who you can’t pin down. With almost all of the toys up to this point, what you see is generally what you get (even if you don’t want to get what they’re offering).
But with Hugo, you never know what you’ll get since you can manipulate various physical attributes on his face. The only thing you can be sure of is that piercing and intense look in his eyes will be perpetually unhappy with whatever you do to him. And will likely take it out on you when you least suspect.