50 Twisted Jokes for Anyone Who Likes Dark Humor
![Dark humor joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/dark-humor-joke/qJLgjnpxwFqQ1rwio6T-BrcCLEY=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/01/d0/01d05779212c462db456e4e8f9d46a66.jpeg)
Dark humor jokes are an acquired taste. One of our friends used to love dark jokes until he was in a serious accident. After that, he just didn't have the guts.
If you can stomach more painfully dark jokes like that one, check out these.
Don’t Give Us Any Ideas
![My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying you'll be next. I started doing the same to them at funerals.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/my-elderly-relatives-liked-to-tease-me-at-weddings-saying-youll-be-next-i-started-doing-the-same-to-them-at-funerals/zxYOA5jepG0pToPPAOTEPIB-238=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/86/db/86dbadb252774d01bac29855d0970327.jpeg)
Oh No
![My mom died when we couldn't remember her blood type joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/my-mom-died-when-we-couldnt-remember-her-blood-type-joke/qMjFLIUs_fUgYjWgRUAutKmQLqI=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/96/a5/96a517049303421787ee1c5f84581895.jpeg)
Shared This One With My Boss, Wasn’t the Best Timing
![I have tons of jokes about unemployment. Sadly, none of them work.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/i-have-tons-of-jokes-about-unemployment-sadly-none-of-them-work/7byuFxzF9sWz85dbfM1E7z_Sfs0=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/94/7b/947bcaa3796746c594d9cce63a43d9b4.jpeg)
It’s Just a Coincidence
![Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/today-was-a-terrible-day-my-ex-got-hit-by-a-bus-and-i-lost-my-job-as-a-bus-driver/HpZdx341FiJuUaPtFoAXXgWGC5I=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/0e/43/0e43e5594d644671aada3a84c96a881e.jpeg)
Been There, Spit That Out
![Finding half a worm joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/finding-half-a-worm-joke/QhQeC25jHGKl7FKWDWunUhxXx_I=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/8a/c7/8ac7dcce5484482f8ac3a622e5657b94.jpeg)
They Should Win an Award, Not That They’ll Care
![My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/my-grief-counselor-died-he-was-so-good-i-dont-even-care/6o5fIUVzzTcjB7CtWhUCoczuNnc=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/66/67/6667969115f343279ec5de70b69c9086.jpeg)
Anyone Have a Coupon for Therapy?
![What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can't be found.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/what-does-my-dad-have-in-common-with-nemo-they-both-cant-be-found/CqRw4qAwyOdWiX_CRM8c75a1uOs=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/71/34/7134419d440c4c9db5679ad209d0a1e6.jpeg)
Let’s Be Real. An Immortal Dog Would Be Awesome
![I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/i-was-reading-a-great-book-about-an-immortal-cat-the-other-day-it-was-impossible-to-put-down/aIln7aB3Y_zr5ei5EgniWTHqPx8=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/4b/53/4b53780baae14a7f9c2e640878f739f2.jpeg)
To Stop Talking to Drugs Is a Good First Step
![Funny dark humor joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/funny-dark-humor-joke/W_8trRx51qw3sBbBy5C6AI_8VSw=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/9b/9f/9b9f65a186424a008445e810b9b9e1de.jpeg)
They Have to Introduce Themselves Every Week
![Plastic surgery joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/plastic-surgery-joke/OkAVx42FvDgw_tgpoqh1KyK2puI=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/c4/cc/c4cc4faa57794fe7a4731efc082c98b2.jpeg)
Weird Way of Putting It
![Creepy dark humor joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/creepy-dark-humor-joke/sjGYD7jsQpk6fjer6-WiDilL23Y=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/0c/73/0c73b2603a644c2499fe71d50c3ec979.jpeg)
On the Upside, You’re a Treasure
!["One man's trash is another man's treasure?" is a terrible way to find out that you were adopted.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/one-mans-trash-is-another-mans-treasure-is-a-terrible-way-to-find-out-that-you-were-adopted/pV0nVSdAL_HsmPGN8UIyXp_Orcc=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/4b/19/4b194eab5bb348fbafacae5b00dd3f45.jpeg)
Some Dark Humor Jokes Are Tragic
![I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a home page.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/i-made-a-website-for-orphans-it-doesnt-have-a-home-page/TUAQNGGUPsvHBwXrcL4aeCrHv6M=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/97/6f/976f622793ca4533bef8d70e1728b228.jpeg)
A Visual We Didn’t Need
![What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car? Its butt.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/whats-the-last-thing-to-go-through-a-flys-head-as-it-hits-the-windshield-of-a-car-its-butt/dVP2CvMcKIN77v4yakTNJ0qGhLI=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/fe/23/fe232ec6e771430cb74dd3893fcb4569.jpeg)
Literally
![Dark literary joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/dark-literary-joke/UaVgscssnWoA21im-ZlfoCG94xA=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/6a/0c/6a0c6f182ba546d898549b157a403c32.jpeg)
We Know a Good Divorce Lawyer If the Fridge Repairman Is Unavailable
![My wife left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working." The fridge was working fine.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/my-wife-left-a-note-on-the-fridge-that-said-this-isnt-working-the-fridge-was-working-fine/U1M84UvtEy1OovQcRy5MMas2zxY=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/71/2f/712feb722d734613a0d21c8ba57d68ef.jpeg)
Good Grief
![Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn't a mourning person.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/why-did-the-man-miss-the-funeral-he-wasnt-a-mourning-person/UtRom1XdUMxtbrokZqLHFYRRc3o=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/92/51/925105d886cf4ce8b40be05c6237342b.jpeg)
Can’t Imagine Why
![Funny relationship joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/funny-relationship-joke/zKO6aSKTt1MR5lO40Nv3clxVJuw=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/3f/dd/3fdd481c6edf451b82ba607959537bf1.jpeg)
Really Wind Up Before You Toss It
![An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but only if you throw it hard enough.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/an-apple-a-day-keeps-the-doctor-away-but-only-if-you-throw-it-hard-enough/4oepuPvmAGfWiVZN8Pdo594ZAxI=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/48/f1/48f1ce43e9fd41189cf89587f4ed8c2f.jpeg)
We Childproofed the House, but They Keep Finding a Way In
![I'd like to have kids one day. I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/id-like-to-have-kids-one-day-i-dont-think-i-could-stand-them-any-longer-than-that-though/K1Be9oSyvclElrC_OKown9BKbss=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/a4/eb/a4eb7fe5354c46b2b728b3fd0a06061c.jpeg)
Need Some Ice for That Burn?
![Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/today-i-asked-my-phone-siri-why-am-i-still-single-and-it-activated-the-front-camera/TUxS-g6ltEdy5nyJrgW4UjMAA-0=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/20/90/209080f4ed004b288dea3f7b504935c2.jpeg)
And You Don’t Even Want to Know What the Dressing Is Made Of
![Caesar salad joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/caesar-salad-joke/2Pe_q70M6-Lv2P2gwPIq3CIdg4U=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/be/f9/bef9ef3f476e46a2a40741903294574d.jpeg)
If the FBI Is Reading This, It’s Just a Joke
![Dark joke about murder](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/dark-joke-about-murder/zyqgMnnppT2VhlE3HbGdismSRtw=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/7f/88/7f88f4ac0e794e029def5731cf8cf366.jpeg)
Some Dark Jokes for the Poli-Sci Majors Among Us
![I have a joke about trickle down economics, but no one gets it.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/i-have-a-joke-about-trickle-down-economics-but-no-one-gets-it/oKQuoMDNSN9btXOSO4TWGh_af4Q=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/f9/e2/f9e2fdab32f44458883563dc82c6cff2.jpeg)
Do You Know This From Experience, Or...?
![Why are friends similar to snow? They both disappear if you pee on them.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/why-are-friends-similar-to-snow-they-both-disappear-if-you-pee-on-them/KSehW9miPXckYlUjI2HmUPLSliQ=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/81/f7/81f7accdcb9a464d8504ffb638f7be7f.jpeg)
No Refunds? Weird
![Dark parenting joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/dark-parenting-joke/Rg-XMCWCy1TvmuUdB6MRp4cW3r0=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/f1/01/f10193fe28d8417bbbb42aa99e247e7f.jpeg)
And This Is Why You Stay in School
![Antidote vs. Anecdote joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/antidote-vs-anecdote-joke/c3jDar4w3v3wwWz2rPlX_1RzrtU=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/00/c5/00c5cf563ace4f33b97673004356a043.jpeg)
Why Would You? They Have Way Less Potassium Than Bananas
![It turns out a major new study found that humans eat more bananas than monkey. Makes sense. I've never eaten a monkey.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/it-turns-out-a-major-new-study-found-that-humans-eat-more-bananas-than-monkey-makes-sense-ive-never-eaten-a-monkey/DgkhzaKKWllyH7y-9tJ1Ej40oSs=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/0c/e5/0ce568fcdb394c818ad53d7534aaf19c.jpeg)
Ouch
![My parents are the worst joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/my-parents-are-the-worst-joke/4DX-RZXJrQK6V3Vg1Ggqal_SI2Y=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/48/71/48718849eba54e2abb003a22ce8a2f09.jpeg)
Unsure If We Should Cry From Laughter or Sadness
![Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/dark-humor-is-like-food-not-everyone-gets-it/AB43u79aKbGwMYgDfLy4tsWT7EM=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/cf/11/cf116417c11444d7a1dd600d561230a5.jpeg)
Wonder How He’s Doing
![I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/i-just-read-that-someone-in-london-gets-stabbed-every-52-seconds-poor-guy/i3ADvSm-MKzZIgLSyJJ559eOSyg=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/30/29/30297b1b8e0946babf77a61637eec0d7.jpeg)
Cozy
![Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for life.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/give-a-man-a-match-and-hell-be-warm-for-a-few-hours-set-him-on-fire-and-hell-be-warm-for-life/xshCSt1HGEpvUlQu1GBdFSSe8mE=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/91/66/91663a0ccbfd4d0a9adfd8bcaf999c00.jpeg)
What Ladder?
![I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: Are you still holding the ladder?](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/ill-never-forget-my-grandfathers-last-words-are-you-still-holding-the-ladder/T9x_98ChR5OhkwZjvOfc8Nx54Ls=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/87/e6/87e6b2b99de14ad18a4eb67b5d390717.jpeg)
Didn’t Think Having an Estranged Parent Came With Perks, but Here We Are
![I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/i-wasnt-close-to-my-father-when-he-died-which-is-lucky-because-he-stepped-on-a-landmine/mgc0zisZ5f8cbJGziThwilf1sEE=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/5b/61/5b614bf69a654fe9bbe826883909120f.jpeg)
A Perfect Dark Humor Joke for Kids
![Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/why-dont-skeletons-ever-go-trick-or-treating-because-they-have-no-body-to-go-with/Eeg9iFWx1c9HY049ZWt_U1-vgH0=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/b2/2b/b22b797121054cb5adcdeba14144b863.jpeg)
Time for a Career Change — Or Jail Time
![Funny dark humor joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/funny-dark-humor-joke/KYtnk1cWYoXn-9apF4s7Qsxg7NY=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/6e/a8/6ea8a6210e7b4760aba37194fa5f4d45.jpeg)
Some Dark Jokes Are Quite a Visual
![Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/where-did-joe-go-after-getting-lost-on-a-minefield-everywhere/vOBkIRj2q1tQ6j6u3dYnr6FPKzU=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/20/a5/20a57763772042c99fbfe85ce47ce3c1.jpeg)
Nothing Like Laughing Over a Good Meal
![Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/why-dont-cannibals-eat-clowns-because-they-taste-funny/wwGVsOfzwyY_BBNdWdTeWWmvndc=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/7b/1b/7b1baf82e3de4752897bee831b13e83d.jpeg)
Maybe They Were Born With Extra Kidneys. You Don’t Know
![If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you. Donate five, and they call the police.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/if-you-donate-one-kidney-everybody-loves-you-donate-five-and-they-call-the-police/2i1X6auIAcXheyoRTz6bQs4eHgc=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/f4/9b/f49b54aa0d6845f7b6e18c706d3fcac5.jpeg)
Make Like a Parent From a Disney Movie and Get Lost
![My girlfriend wanted a fairy tale marriage, so I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the woods.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/my-girlfriend-wanted-a-fairy-tale-marriage-so-i-gave-her-a-loaf-of-bread-and-left-her-in-the-woods/q0RbKOfEZTE9g9c3KBY3C31Vc34=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/12/da/12da83e6b00147ad86fc6dd15070a025.jpeg)
We Thought We Had Experienced Heartbreak Before Reading This Dark Joke. We Stand Corrected.
![Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/where-do-you-find-a-dog-with-no-legs-right-where-you-left-it/a6FkNMU49CuwbfBT9-q80fG8f-Q=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/da/11/da11d1db739f424d84efb77659aa9494.jpeg)
Also Red Vines
![What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/whats-red-and-bad-for-your-teeth-a-brick/ww-dRw9h46OJTdny2WWOlZV0CAg=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/00/01/0001fdfe673f467c994b934a8fe7e80d.jpeg)
Grandma Needs Professional Help
![My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/my-grandma-has-the-heart-of-a-lion-and-a-lifetime-ban-from-the-zoo/igniR6yHkYnhoUl6EaG1JBGCxfc=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/dd/ed/dded3bdbf4194c12a6c36163dedd5286.jpeg)
Their Parenting Skills Are Fire
![Dark humor joke for kids](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/dark-humor-joke-for-kids/RqijBnkm_SSJtiSCMPDes-rWYhg=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/88/32/88324c78daaf4232b73da6250219397d.jpeg)
What a Let Down for People Who Already Work Remotely
![My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/my-boss-told-me-to-have-a-good-day-so-i-went-home/hjE_xtpD6MLJKdQAZmhH4DyMx2w=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/1c/bf/1cbf148d0df54033befc67f445ec0f73.jpeg)
His Last Composition Was Killer
![Musical dark humor joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/musical-dark-humor-joke/5jW1eVshNGbP-yckACnF4AwUrHg=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/7c/ff/7cffa79d67404382b01b34cfe4847123.jpeg)
Can’t Imagine Why
![My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/my-parents-raised-me-as-an-only-child-which-really-annoyed-my-sister/2UP0XsQElpp6hAL9CvjICIWIdIk=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/6d/b4/6db4a9567c4c4d6aa85c8876b78a89b7.jpeg)
Send Help
![What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/what-did-the-woman-with-no-hands-get-for-christmas-no-idea-she-hasnt-opened-her-present-yet/0bo-N5ALjt_oTzKcP7iTpUU1Ly0=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/50/db/50dbec63d63544459f6b54daf2f49457.jpeg)
It’s Like Wizard’s Chess, Only Illegal and Minus the Magic
![Funny dark joke](https://thumbor.bigedition.com/funny-dark-joke/05h1hy4QM3N94HrdVscbdX-FY90=/800x0/filters:quality(80)/granite-web-prod/84/e8/84e8478935f045179e348f3068c2a842.jpeg)
When Your Connection With Bagels Is Electric