50 Twisted Jokes for Anyone Who Likes Dark Humor

This collection of jokes is for people with a sinister sense of humor.

50 Twisted Jokes for Anyone Who Likes Dark Humor

Dark humor joke

Dark humor jokes are an acquired taste. One of our friends used to love dark jokes until he was in a serious accident. After that, he just didn't have the guts.

If you can stomach more painfully dark jokes like that one, check out these.

Don’t Give Us Any Ideas

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying you'll be next. I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Oh No

My mom died when we couldn't remember her blood type joke

Shared This One With My Boss, Wasn’t the Best Timing

I have tons of jokes about unemployment. Sadly, none of them work.

It’s Just a Coincidence

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Been There, Spit That Out

Finding half a worm joke

They Should Win an Award, Not That They’ll Care

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care.

Anyone Have a Coupon for Therapy?

What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can't be found.

Let’s Be Real. An Immortal Dog Would Be Awesome

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.

To Stop Talking to Drugs Is a Good First Step

Funny dark humor joke

They Have to Introduce Themselves Every Week

Plastic surgery joke

Weird Way of Putting It

Creepy dark humor joke

On the Upside, You’re a Treasure

"One man's trash is another man's treasure?" is a terrible way to find out that you were adopted.

Some Dark Humor Jokes Are Tragic

I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a home page.

A Visual We Didn’t Need

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car? Its butt.

Literally

Dark literary joke

We Know a Good Divorce Lawyer If the Fridge Repairman Is Unavailable

My wife left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working." The fridge was working fine.

Good Grief

Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn't a mourning person.

Can’t Imagine Why

Funny relationship joke

Really Wind Up Before You Toss It

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but only if you throw it hard enough.

We Childproofed the House, but They Keep Finding a Way In

I'd like to have kids one day. I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Need Some Ice for That Burn?

Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.

And You Don’t Even Want to Know What the Dressing Is Made Of

Caesar salad joke

If the FBI Is Reading This, It’s Just a Joke

Dark joke about murder

Some Dark Jokes for the Poli-Sci Majors Among Us

I have a joke about trickle down economics, but no one gets it.

Do You Know This From Experience, Or...?

Why are friends similar to snow? They both disappear if you pee on them.

No Refunds? Weird

Dark parenting joke

And This Is Why You Stay in School

Antidote vs. Anecdote joke

Why Would You? They Have Way Less Potassium Than Bananas

It turns out a major new study found that humans eat more bananas than monkey. Makes sense. I've never eaten a monkey.

Ouch

My parents are the worst joke

Unsure If We Should Cry From Laughter or Sadness

Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.

Wonder How He’s Doing

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

Cozy

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for life.

What Ladder?

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: Are you still holding the ladder?

Didn’t Think Having an Estranged Parent Came With Perks, but Here We Are

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

A Perfect Dark Humor Joke for Kids

Why don't skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

Time for a Career Change — Or Jail Time

Funny dark humor joke

Some Dark Jokes Are Quite a Visual

Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

Nothing Like Laughing Over a Good Meal

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

Maybe They Were Born With Extra Kidneys. You Don’t Know

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you. Donate five, and they call the police.

Make Like a Parent From a Disney Movie and Get Lost

My girlfriend wanted a fairy tale marriage, so I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the woods.

We Thought We Had Experienced Heartbreak Before Reading This Dark Joke. We Stand Corrected.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

Also Red Vines

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Grandma Needs Professional Help

My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Their Parenting Skills Are Fire

Dark humor joke for kids

What a Let Down for People Who Already Work Remotely

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

His Last Composition Was Killer

Musical dark humor joke

Can’t Imagine Why

My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my sister.

Send Help

What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn't opened her present yet.

It’s Like Wizard’s Chess, Only Illegal and Minus the Magic

Funny dark joke

When Your Connection With Bagels Is Electric

I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.