#FirstDate Tweets That Will Make You Laugh (or Cringe)

For the overwhelming majority, a first date is often the last — with reasons both understandable and often hilarious.

#FirstDate Tweets That Will Make You Laugh (or Cringe)

Whether you’ve been with your significant other for a few weeks or several decades, you had to get through that initial, and awkward, first-date experience. If that initial meeting resulted in your current long-term relationship, well done. But even if it did, perhaps it wasn’t smooth or indicative of the lifelong love you now share with your partner. And hopefully you even got a good story out of it.

But, for the overwhelming majority, a first date is often the last — with reasons both understandable and often ridiculous. And in the age of Twitter, folks are willing to share it all with the social media universe for us to enjoy and to hopefully learn from. So, let’s check out some of those #FirstDate tweets, shall we?

A Ball of Nerves

A little bit of nerves is good for anyone in such a scenario; it means you aren’t going into the situation with your eyes closed. First dates are very much like job interviews: You want to be on your best behavior, present your best self, dress to impress and be prepared to both ask and receive unexpected questions.

Now throw in a glass of wine or two. Maybe the meeting will go well … or maybe it’ll be awful, and you’ll want to get out of there as quickly as possible.

All of which is to say that nerves and anxiety aren’t necessarily the same thing because nerves keep you on your toes. So, take a few deep breaths or whatever calming exercise you like, go out there and have a good time — all the while keeping your wits about you.

Common Courtesy

As a former busboy/waiter/bartender, I couldn’t agree more. Our economy has basically shifted from skilled labor to service-oriented over just one or two generations, so a great many of us have worked — or will have to — in a service-oriented job at some point.

You learn a great deal about people-handling in such jobs, including how to deal with someone who is being difficult or even downright hostile. Just imagine that it’s your job to make customers happy for an entire restaurant shift and not to get angry — all while juggling plates of food and dealing with an aching back or feet. If your first date is disrespectful to a waiter or waitress, it’s a good chance that person will act similarly towards you either soon or eventually.

Trust me.

Going a Little Far

Well, with a handle like “BigCheeks6” I suppose you can’t really be surprised that this guy is a textbook #MeToo example just waiting to happen.

And a word of advice to any other dudes out there who think the stewardess is interested in you: It’s their job to give you free Coke and peanuts. They’re not doing it out of any semblance of attraction. Now back to your tablet videogame!

#FirstDate Research

You see, kids, back in my day, you had to go to the phonebook or library to stalk an ex. Now, thanks to social media and the inter-tubes, you can do it without leaving your desk.

Oh, and for any law enforcement organizations who may be reading this thread, keep an “eye” out for @eye-am33. Just sayin’.

Putting Your Best Foot Forward

Gaby has a point here, and it’s one close to my heart, as I have a rather embarrassing collection of T-shirts that my fiancée has been gradually weeding out. (One advantage for men of getting into a long-term relationship is a wardrobe upgrade.)

For guys especially, you want to make the best impression on a first date — because you only get one chance to make it. If you show up looking like you just stepped out of a Metallica show, complete with a holey concert T-shirt from 1991, it doesn’t really say, “Hey, I’m casual” or even retro-hip. What it really says is “I can’t be bothered.”

Math at Its Finest

OK, mad points for nerdy cuteness and mathematical puns — and for reminding us that there is someone for everyone, even those who are a bit “off center.”

(Ask your friends from calculus if you don’t get that joke.)

Love Based on Reality…

Yep, there’s a reality show on NBC called “First Dates,” which I’m 100 percent sure is absolutely authentic and no one on the show is from Central Casting or has been coached on how to act on said first dates in any way shape or form so as to create better content for the cameras.

A Little Too Prepared

I’m not sure you’re kidding there, “SupersonicSB.” And by the way, broadcasting to the entire world that you are already figuring out how to be a cheapo when it comes to buying an engagement ring with a “former employee discount” will earn you precisely zero brownie points with any self-respecting woman.

(Just ask my fiancée, who constantly nudges me whenever I brag about a discount anything.)

Congrats to Four Years

In a cynical world, with so much pain out there and so much internet detritus floating about, sometimes it’s groovy just knowing that some people are truly happy.

@YourPalPony, please check in with us again in another four years to let us know how you and your spouse are doing.

A Liar in Training

And here I thought Los Angeles was the only town where people were constantly “in between jobs.”

If economic security is your thing, someone whose “career path” constantly changes might not be good for the long haul.

A Different Taste

For just a moment, let’s put aside the fact that in many cultures, it remains perfectly acceptable to eat cats and dogs. I personally have consumed kangaroo, moose, shark and even a live insect larvae in the Australian Outback (it tasted like eggs, I swear). But when it comes to the four-legged critters that inhabit so many homes, I absolutely draw the line.

But let’s play devil’s advocate for a second and assume that @JohnTarbet71’s date perhaps came from a country where eating dogs and cats is still de rigeur. Even if true, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that this is not really something to bring up on a first date. Ever.

The Perfect Icebreaker

Talking about where to travel or go on holiday is absolutely one of the best possible first-date topics. Dr. Catherine, a self-described “dating guru,” primarily markets her services to adults over 50, who, by that point have (hopefully) seen, if not much of the world, at least a good portion of their home country. Talking travel is a great way to find out more about your first date’s worldliness — or lack thereof — and, actually, can be an initial look into how you would jive as a couple.

For instance, if you’re a beach gal and he only talks about skiing trips, you might want to rethink Date No. 2.

Bad Timing

Thank goodness for makeup, right, for both @clorindaramirez and Nia Vardalos in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”? However, if you’re a dude, this isn’t really an option (or maybe it is; I don’t judge). I wish someone had told me that acne didn’t magically end when you turn 21, but it’s too late now.

So, if a pesky pimple presents the night before the first date, break out the anti-acne product. But don’t “overdo” the home remedy that could potentially make things worse and create a bleeding blunder that could ooze during your dinner date. No one has perfect skin, so try not to sweat the small “spots.”

Back to Anxiety

Cheer up, @peachlongtime. Time heals all wounds (or something like that), and one of the absolute best ways to get over a breakup is to put yourself out there again.

Some anxiety under the circumstances is completely normal and expected, but try to keep in mind that you’re doing the best thing for yourself and moving forward instead of looking back. We wish you the best!