Moms Tell All About the Highs and Lows of Parenting
Parenting is both the best and hardest job in the world.It wasn’t until I became a parent that I understood what people meant when they said it was both the best — and hardest — job in the whole world. Parenthood is the ultimate rollercoaster. It’s a crazy ride filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, oftentimes all in the same day, sometimes even the same hour.
It’s enough to make even a well-rested person think they’re going crazy. But don’t worry. As these moms’ stories of highs and lows evince, it’s not you. It’s just the nature of the job.
High: Sweetness
“One day when my son Mackenzie was small, he came to me and said, ‘Mom, a boy in my class never has a lunch and is hungry. Can you make him lunch so I can bring it to him at school?’ That was the best, seeing that he noticed that someone else was in need and that he found a solution, something he — and we — could do about it. That for me was a high.”
— Linda Mendoza from Brier, Wash. (Mom to a 34-year-old and 36-year-old)
Low: So Much Sickness
“I was three days in to having two sick kids. I had just finished cleaning up vomit because my oldest throws up every time she coughs too hard. I had just gotten her back to sleep when my youngest woke up crying. I went in and picked her up to comfort her when I noticed she had something on her face. When I turned on the light, I realized she was literally covered in her own poop. She had reached into her diaper while sleeping and smeared it all over her hands, arms, face and eyes. So, we took a shower at 3 a.m.”
— Kina Reandeau from Tacoma, Wash. (Mom to 1-year-old and 3-year-old)
High: Special Memories
“When my kids were little, we moved to a small company town. At first I thought I’d hate it, but as we got adjusted, I had to find some activities for myself and the kids. They were young and very active. We began going on walks on the trails in the area. The forest was very intriguing to us, as we had spent most of our lives in the big city.
"As we began to go out more and more, my children were intrigued by little animals we’d see and streams we’d walk by. I began to let them take their shoes off and stick their feet in the cold water, and they loved it. We’d often see sparkles in the water that they thought might be gold. These were precious times with my children — and special times for me as a parent.”
— Narda Overby from Sedro Woolley, Wash. (Mom to 33-year-old, 35-year-old and 36-year-old)
Low: Making Ends Meet
“When my daughter was around a year old, my husband and I were both working 24-hour shifts. We needed both incomes, so after Dan worked his 24-hour shift, he would meet me at my work. We would exchange cars, he’d take our daughter home, and then I’d work my 24-hour shift. It was hard knowing I was stuck at work not seeing her for that amount of time, and it happened every third day.”
— Karen Guisinger from Vancouver, Wash. (Mom to 24-year-old and 26-year-old)
High: Growing Good Hearts
“My parenting high is every time my kids make a compassionate decision instead of a selfish one. I would never make my kids share their toys through discipline. I would encourage them to do it by telling them it was a loving thing to do but that they needed to make that choice … It’s not that we have to share our things, but life is made much more joyful when we do! I love to see them often making more compassionate decisions now that they’ve matured a bit and understand this. That’s probably my best high! If they have good hearts, then I think I’ll have done a good job.”
— Meghan French from Chattanooga, Tenn. (Mom to 8-year-old and 11-year-old)
Low: Losing Your Temper
“I remember the first time I ever raised my voice to my son. He was about 8 or 9 months old, and I made a smoothie for myself. He, of course, wanted what I had, so I let him have a sip. While he was drinking it (mind you we were sitting in the middle of the living room on the carpet), he decided to take a HUGE sip and then spit it out, on purpose, all over the carpet.
"My gut reaction was to snatch the cup from him and just yell, ‘NO, do not spit on the floor!’ He immediately started to cry and cower, and it was then that I realized that he had never heard me yell at him before. I felt horrible at myself for making him feel that way and for THAT being the first time I ever yelled (especially when there were so many more and better reasons to yell that came later).
— Melissa Pew from Austin, Texas (Mom to 2-year-old and 4-year-old)
High: Pure Joy
“My high is the pure joy I feel with my son. I didn’t expect parenting to be so fun.”
— Megan Davies from Seattle (Mom to 11-month-old)
Low: Breastfeeding Woes
“A major low was when my daughter was just about 4 months old and decided that the bottle was much more efficient and easy than me. I should honestly share that breastfeeding was not as fulfilling for me as I had thought it would be, and I was struggling with the logistics of it all. One morning, she wouldn't latch, she arched her back in protest and wouldn't stop crying until she was settled with an artificial nipple.
"On one hand, I knew that it was best to end the frustrating journey for both of us, but I admit that the immense guilt and sense of loss from closing that chapter certainly loomed.”
— Liz Wyosnick from Seattle (Mom to 10-month-old)
High: Compliments
“Our boys were active in the youth group at church. One day when they were in junior high, I got a call from one of the leaders of the youth group. She said she just had to call and tell us what wonderful, helpful, friendly, happy sons we had and what a delight they were in the group! I made sure they heard about the call when they got home! That was the second time I got a call about how nice our boys were. My eyes leaked with pride!”
— Connie Rettig from Forest Lake, Minn. (Mom to 50-year-old and 51-year-old)
Low: Mom vs. Career
“I think what I struggle the most with is trying to do a great job at being a mom but also advancing and doing well in my career. It’s tough to take off work every time your kids are sick, during snow days, etc. I feel like a slacker at work, but my daughter requires 100 percent of my attention. And I don’t want people to think that I can’t do my job because I have a small child. I feel bad when I have a conference call and, in order for me to take it, I have to put her in her high chair and put a movie on for an hour when I know she shouldn’t be exposed to that much screen time.”
— Tracey Gibson from Seattle (Mom to 1-year-old)
High: The Little Things
“I have always tried to cling to the little things that all add up to highs in parenthood. I can recall the first smile, the first giggle and those content, wet, blue eyes that look up at me during bath time. A major high [when my daughter was a newborn] was spending the last of the Seattle summer with her strapped to my front almost every day after work. I would hike, happy to be outside and in the warmth, and she would inevitably fall asleep on my chest. We would go for an hour or so, and I think the fresh air did wonders!”
— Liz Wyosnick from Seattle (Mom to 10-month-old)
Low: Not Enough Self Care
“One time, just after we’d moved to a new state, I was invited out to an adult function with my husband, but no sitters would come watch the kids. I sank down, locked in my closet, and cried because I knew I physically needed to be away from them. I felt trapped. I hadn’t prepared good self care to be able to be joyfully ‘stuck’ with them that night.
"A low for me is always when I get tired and worn out and have nothing left to give the kids because they’ve sucked all my energy dry. I need to consciously work on self care to be the best I can be for them.”
— Meghan French from Chattanooga, Tenn. (Mom to 8-year-old and 11-year-old)
High: Firsts
“It’s just amazing watching my daughter learn the world and accomplish all her firsts — and seconds and thirds, too.”
— Sara Lucas from Pittsburgh, Pa. (Mom to 3-year-old)
Low: Maintaining Other Relationships
“It’s a struggle keeping up my relationships with myself, with my husband and with my friends. With regard to myself, I don't eat, sleep or work out as well as I used to. I just don't have the time or the energy to take care of myself, and that really stinks. With my husband, I'm too tired to put any effort into our marriage. I don't surprise him with little things anymore, and I certainly am too tired for sex more than once a month.
"And my friends — I rarely catch up on the phone, I see them even less, and when I do, I'm too tired to really do anything special.”
— Melissa Pew from Austin, Texas (Mom to 2-year-old and 4-year-old)
High: Watching Them Grow
“I believe my favorite part of parenting has been watching my little babies grow through all the stages and then seeing them as adults. It was interesting to see what choices they made along the way, the changes in direction when something didn't work well or wasn't a good fit, the passion and purpose that is unique to both of them. And now watching my baby with her own baby and seeing what a wonderful mom she is. These are the moments that make my heart warm.”
— Carol Veach from Bellingham, Wash. (Mom to 31-year-old and 35-year-old)