75 Hilarious Dad Tweets on the Realities of Pregnancy
For obvious reasons (they can’t experience pregnancy themselves), men have a very unique perspective when it comes to pregnancy and becoming parents. And, oftentimes, that perspective is downright hilarious.
But before these men become fathers, they must first survive their significant other being pregnant because, along with pregnancy, comes a lot of hormonally driven demands and expectations — several of which are entertaining and funny (or at least they are after-the-fact).
Check out these hilarious dad tweets on the realities of pregnancy that men shared in their own very special and charming ways.
Let the Dad Jokes Begin
It’s never too early to get a jump-start on the dad jokes when you’re expecting to soon become a dad yourself.
We can imagine that this conversation between husband and wife was not a pleasant one.
Nobody Ever Says, ‘Poor Dad'
Sure, a mother has to go through the arduous labor of pushing a human being out of her body, but the father has to stand next to her for a while.
We’re going to guess that comparing the two might cause some backlash.
This man wants to be remembered as just the hero … not the hero and the would-be villain.
Just because a baby kicks in utero doesn’t mean it’s ready to get on the field.
That Prank Has a Bite
It might be safer in the future for this dad-to-be to consider the fact that his hungry and hormonal wife may not want his leftovers.
You’re an All-Star
Playing music for your future child is great for their development.
Forcing them to like certain movies? Maybe not so much.
Banished From Pillowtown
Sounds like somebody will be sleeping in Couch City for a while.
Outsourcing Getting Yelled At
Before this husband comes out of hiding, he should probably get the right “dip.”
A Song of Books and Babies
Even though the "Game of Thrones" books are phenomenal and the show was groundbreaking, most people are still probably more interested in a pregnant woman than George R.R. Martin’s creations.
Always Paying Your Debts
You’d better be ready for some Lannister-style retaliation if you spend almost $500 on a fancy chair just for fun.
To be fair, not everybody hates the taste of alcohol-free beer.
Worth the Wait
This man waited for the perfect moment to finally give the ultimate dad joke.
Another Dad Joke
It seems like many men enjoy dealing with pregnancy through humor … even if the jokes are pretty cheesy.
Each trimester should get its own threat level.
Fertile Comedy Grounds
There are lots of great jokes about pregnancy. Whether or not this is one of them is still up for debate...
This Yes Man will be happily saying, “Yes, ma’am,” for nine months.
Death Was Imminent
Is the juice worth the squeeze? Does it really matter?
Yes, you should be concerned. Yup.
Getting Ahead of Ourselves
It’s fun to plan for when the baby arrives.
But maybe keep the plans flexible, so it doesn’t come out of the womb with its whole life already plotted out.
This poorly timed water bottle gift seemed to throw this future father off his game.
Knowing What Works
Hey, she can’t help it if being very pregnant keeps her from being able to do all the things she wants you to do around the house.
Chips and Dip
As one of the commenters explains, "Yes, you've got it! Love = Food".
It may seem like the morning sickness or the puking is overwhelming to a woman.
But pregnant women are powerful beyond measure … as proved by this woman deciding to change toilets mid-vomit.
Perfecting the Past
Unfortunately for this husband, he’s going to need to ask about the picture after the baby is born since no good will come before.
"I Said Pie"
Why , oh why, are you craving pie so desperately?
It’s fair to say many men don’t really understand pregnancy.
But it’s also fair to say that this picture depiction of it is terrifyingly inaccurate.
Sure, this sign may be directed at delivery people with regular packages. But it’s probably better to not take chances.
With jokes like these, it’s a wonder how this guy's wife got pregnant in the first place.
Pregnancy Day 124
This hubby seems to be bouncing in and out of favor.
'Pregnancy brain' is very real for many expectant mothers.
A Touch for a Touch
No matter what happens, it’ll be entertaining.
Pregnancy is Fun
Pregnancy can spark heated arguments, sometimes even about cheese.
Data shows that many pregnant women get more forgetful as their pregnancy advances.
Come Home Early
Reasons to leave work early: A. illness, B. your kids need you, or C. #PregnantWife.
"At Least You're Not Pregnant"
Keep calm. At least you're not pregnant.
Ben & Jerry's
When in doubt, Ben & Jerry's.
Careful with the Bragging
All brownie points earned for being in sober solidarity have been wasted on one mindless comment.
Real Life Filter
While this husband may think his wife is beautiful while pregnant, she’s made it clear that doesn’t mean she needs to show off for the rest of the world.
Baby’s Specific Needs
It’s crazy how the baby can’t even read, yet it somehow craves reading your messages.
Funny How That Works
Hard to argue with a woman who is throwing up, even if the logic behind helping her doesn’t seem to track.
What a Sacrifice
Sure, a woman is carrying a baby inside of her. But this dad-to-be is carrying the responsibility of making the most of having a designated driver wherever he goes. So it really seems to even out.
What a Gas
Sometimes you need to tell your partner to keep their distance…for their own good.
The Tension is Palpable
You know how they say let sleeping dogs lie? It’s probably best to apply that same approach to exhausted pregnant women.
Always make sure your wife is actually pregnant before making any comments about how they look. Assuming, of course, you want to stay happily married.
Table for One
A comment like this can quickly turn a nice dinner for two into a lonely dinner for one.
A Little Too Enthusiastic
Be careful with how loudly and enthusiastically you support other pregnant families lest they think you might be overcompensating.
Wishing for a Cold One
Even waiters can sometimes get in trouble with pregnant women with just one simple question.
A Strange Request
I really hope this future father-to-be knows that this won’t actually work.
Choosing to help out your pregnant wife in a high-stress situation to make her feel better will certainly be appreciated. Even if it takes a lot of courage to weather the inevitable storms ahead.
Thank You, Next
The nice part about being with a pregnant woman is they’re impossible to argue with because they’re always right…even when they do strange things.
Live Your Best Wife
May we all take a page out of this pregnant woman and dedicated football fan’s playbook.
There’s nothing like a good pun to remind you of just how cringe-worthy some Dad jokes really are.
Not Every Craving is Food-Oriented
Even in the womb, this baby wants to get a start on hitting some balls around with its family.
These are some specific and difficult-to-find snack requests. Best of luck for whatever sorry sucker has to deal with attempting to deliver those – or, even scarier, for whoever has to explain those are nearly impossible to find.
The Weaker Sex
This pregnant woman is not only working out alongside her husband, she’s working out longer and harder than him. Kudos to her!
Only a Technicality
Sure, technically a couple get pregnant together. But only one person of the couple actually has a baby growing inside of them, so make sure you’re gentle about this “correction.”
It may not seem like a big deal to eat someone else’s chips. But clearly this father-to-be is well aware of his egregious mistake and doesn’t even want to have to confront his pregnant wife about it.
This husband will likely need to tone down the whining when the baby comes along. Otherwise there will be too much crying in the house.
Though this isn’t scientifically possible, it’s still adorable that this father-to-be is holding out subconscious hope.
Prenatal Bonding Time
If you replace “pregnant belly” with “beer belly,” it’s pretty much the same relaxing routine.
The First Time Doesn’t Count
Experiencing birth as a newborn isn’t exactly the same as when you’re an adult, for hopefully obvious reasons.
Sometimes, a pregnancy pun is better than you expect it to be.
Who Doesn’t Love NSYNC?
These parents must have really gotten their dates wrong!
We appreciate this man’s concern.
A Yes, Man...
This one’s so bad, it’s good!
French Fries Are the Things of Tears
Tears of love, that is.
Slow Down, Buddy!
We don’t think dad jokes are the reason you should have a kid…
That’s a Good Question
This dad seems to be well on his way.
A Publisher’s Nightmare
We don’t know whether to laugh or cry at this.
Labor Is Really Not Fun
Especially when you're just getting started.
When You Just Don’t Know
Apparently, you don’t have to be a dad in order to tell some quality dad jokes.
We Like a Planner
And this guy is very much that.
There are definitely some perks to parenthood.
When Your Pregnant Wife Is Literally a Hero…
You have to do the dishes.