58 Overheard Courtroom Conversations That Had Us Rolling
In a court of law, the vibe is usually serious, even intimidating. Just walking into the building makes most people lower their voices and quit slouching. The people in the following court transcripts are not most people, even though we do all admittedly have that one uncle or aunt.
An Instagram account entirely dedicated to conversations overheard in real-life courtrooms went viral, and now we know why: They're absolutely hilarious.
We hope they amuse you, and remember people: If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. But if you do, wear pants to court.
Court Transcripts Capture the Lighter Moments of Our Judicial System at Work
And Not Too Bright by the Looks of It
Court Transcripts Are Wilder Than We Ever Imagined
Amidst all the legal jargon, common sense is sometimes lost.
Nothing to See Here, Officer. Just Drinkin’ a Cold One on My Way to Work.
Uh ... Come Again?
If you feel like your life is too complicated, this court transcript is a reminder that you're not doing so bad after all.
You’d Think People Would Know Dressing Up for Court Was the Norm, but No
Courtroom Rants Never Go Well, so Why Bother?
This Judge Has Been Around the Block
Comedic timing at its finest.
Don’t What? We Weren’t Listening
They Say Honesty Is the Best Policy, but They Never Specified How Honest
It was self defense. I was defending myself against her annoying personality.
You’re Going to Jail, and We Love That for You
Court transcripts are so romantic. <3
At Least They Have a Good Attitude?
It's official. Gen Z is now old enough to go to jail.
It’s Hard to Believe That Some of the People in These Court Transcripts Are Real
If everyone had decorum, going to court wouldn't be necessary in the first place.
That’s Not How This Works. That’s Not How Any of This Works.
Sir, the judge wanted to know what if you wanted financial compensation, not why you filed for divorce.
Yes, People Tend to Dislike Criminals
Wait, this is a medical condition? What's the treatment? Asking for a friend.
A Courtroom Transcript for All the Compulsive Apologizers Out There
What Does One Even Say to This?
Does anyone have the mixtape, though? We're so curious.
Is This the Adult Version of "My Dog Ate My Homework?"
Lawyers Don’t Get Paid Enough
On Second Thought, Maybe Lawyers Get Paid Too Much
Whoever said there are no stupid questions didn't read this funny court transcript.
It’s Like the Defendant Wants to Go to Jail
Your Honor Cutie Pie. OK, Then.
When you try to play a dangerous game, but losing is the only possible outcome.
Some People Really Don’t Get How Court Works
According to Courtroom Transcripts, Tinder Is Appropriate for Children
Bad day, mama? At least an entire courtroom didn't assume you were a man.
Does This Mean Nerf Guns Are Allowed in Jail?
The people in this court transcript clearly haven't felt the pain of getting hit in the eye with one of those things.
The Judge and the State of Tennessee Have Their Work Cut Out for Them
Even Jesus Needs a Lawyer on Earth to Do Some of the Legwork
Jesus may have turned water into wine, but this one might be beyond his scope.
Court Transcripts Offer Surprisingly Good Relationship Advice
When We Said We Wanted an Unforgettable Birthday, This Isn’t What We Meant
Just a piece of chocolate? This court transcript is hilarious, but the defendant deserves a gift basket and a vacation for their trouble.
But That’s Not What You Said...
Sassy Judges Make Courtroom Transcripts Infinitely More Amusing
It’s Terrifying That This Needed to Be Said
Zoom court sounds like a nightmare. A nightmare we'd binge watch.
Maybe It’s Time To Reconsider Your Profession of Choice, Sir
Believe the court transcript. We've met people who talk like this. We hate them.
Lungs Are All in Your Head
Attorney, Do You Really Want to Go There?
You'd think a lawyer would know that some things are better left unsaid.
Evidence That Short Court Transcripts Are Often the Funniest
Is This Court or Kindergarten?
That Awkward Moment When the School System Failed You
Sounds Like It’s Time for a Career Change
Coffee: Always Better Than Blood
If You're Going to Lawyer Up, Spring for a Real Lawyer
If They Can Be Almost a Lawyer, We'd Like to Be Almost Billionaires
Welcome to the Court of Karens
Honestly, We Can Relate
As funny as these transcripts may be, there's hope for everyone. Except the screaming lady with the tinsel hat, maybe.
Court Transcripts Deliver Some Sick Comebacks
Tony the Tiger Needs to File a Restraining Order
The verdict we all wanted to hear. Have a great day, folks. Don't go getting into any trouble, now.