100 Worst Baby Names Parents Have Ever Picked
Making a human is a big deal. Naming one is, too. Strangely, it's harder to renew your license at the DMV or adopt a puppy than it is to do either of those momentous activities. People don't need to complete a course or get a permit to have a kid, but after reading these terrible baby names parents have chosen, we're wondering if they should.
The name you choose for your baby has more effects than you might imagine. A name influences how others will see your child and how your child will see themselves. That's a big deal. In an attempt to make their child's name unique or creative, some parents take it a step (or 10) too far.
If you're expecting, congratulations. But if you're considering one of these names, maybe do some more thinking. These are the worst baby names.
This is definitely one of the worst baby names possible, but more than one parent thought it was a good idea. According to data from 2017, 373 girls were named Abcde. It doesn’t have any special meaning or story. It’s just the first five letters of the alphabet.
Next thing you know, Gen Z parents will be key smashing and naming their kids Hjaegr or Aerlih. Still better than Abcde.
Moving on from Abcde, we have another alphabet-themed name. Maybe the parents who named their kid this had a name starting with Y, and they were still bitter about always going last at school because of being at the end of the alphabet.
Or maybe they just couldn’t think of anything.
Read it slowly. This one’s not pronounced "air-wrecka." It’s Erica. Slightly altering a name to make it more unique or give it meaning is fine. Erika, for example.
But Airwrecka is just unnecessary, and poor Airwrecka will be spelling her name twice for people the rest of her life. Not to mention it has a negative connotation of a plane wreck.
Seriously? Just go with Carson. Or Larsen. Why would you choose a name that’s about destroying public property, potentially starting wildfires and killing people in the process?
Arsonists are the worst. Don’t name your baby after them.
Bacardi would be a really cool-sounding baby name if it weren’t a brand of alcohol. What’s next, tequila? Old No. 7?
The word itself is cool, but let’s keep it classy.
To clarify, this wouldn’t be on the list of worst baby names if it were just a pet name. "Baby boy" and "baby girl" are perfectly nice, normal terms of endearment for your child.
Do you really want everyone else calling him or her that, too? We think not.
Look out, Lasagna and Salami. Your estranged cousin, Banana, is climbing the list here.
Banana was born in 1919 in England. We feel so bad for Banana. A great name for a monkey, sure, but not a human.
Bricks are great building materials, but building materials make some of the worst baby names. From Brick and Cinder to Woody, it’s tough to go right with this one.
Brick is also a jab at a person’s intelligence. Bullying is always the bully’s fault, but try not to add fuel to the fire.
Are your other children named pickup truck and beer? It’s not like you can name one kid Blue Jeans and the other Joshua. "Joshua, Ryan, Blue Jeans, it’s time for dinner."
See? It doesn’t work.
Hi, nice to meet you. These are my kids, McDonald, Five Guys, In and Out. These would be hilarious names for a flock of chickens or a herd of cows, but no kid should be named after meat.
Not too many babies have been named Burger, fortunately. But it does still exist. We're confused as to why.
Some terrible baby names are intentional. Others seem more like regrettable cases of misinformation.
Candida means "pure white," but it’s also the scientific name for the type of fungal infection that causes the all-too-common yeast infection. It’s also responsible for thrush in babies.
From 1880 to 2019, five babies were named Carrion. It's not a lot, but it's enough to earn a place on the list of worst baby names. We'd guess that the poor parents who named their kid Carrion had no idea what it meant, because it genuinely sounds cool.
The definition is considerably less so. Carrion means "the decaying flesh of dead animals." No thanks.
Having kids is already welcoming chaos into your household.
Why ask for more?
Custard was the name of a dragon from a children’s book and the last name of a military sergeant, but it’s also an egg-based dessert. There’s a lot to love about sweets, but there’s no need to name your kid Rocky Road just because you love ice cream.
Custard also comes with no valid nicknames. It’s gonna be a no from us.
Denim is, admittedly, a very durable fabric, so maybe this is symbolic of resilience?
But as we already said with Blue Jeans, this is a hard pass.
It’s hard to believe, but Dorcas was once a popular name. It comes from the Bible, and it was all the rage in the early 1920s.
Other biblical names, like Sarah and Elizabeth, had a lot more staying power. We can’t imagine why.
We wish we could say that we’re surprised that this awful baby name originated in Alabama, but we’re not. In 1847, someone decided to name their child Drug. It wasn’t a nickname.
We can only imagine what this kid aspired to in his or her life. Yikes.
Sports fanatics, what do you think? Is naming a kid Espn taking things a step too far? There are so many better alternatives.
Name a baby after your favorite player, or come up with a creative spinoff of your favorite team's mascot. Just don't name them after a television network.
What's their younger sibling going to be named? NBC?
Fanta was really popular there for a while, but as a sugary, carbonated beverage, not a person. On the list of the worst baby names ever, this one wins the food-related category.
Fanta simply has no hope of not getting teased in middle school.
This terrible baby name sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy waiting to happen. Just, why?
One kid named Fellony already went on to become a real felon, so maybe go with Melanie instead.
Just because it’s true doesn’t mean you have to call poor little Gassy out like that.
Name him Walter as a shoutout to "Walter the Farting Dog."
So much more subtle.
Naming a cat "Kitty" is fine. But that’s because it’s a cat. A cat really doesn’t care. A cat doesn’t have to introduce itself to friends and coworkers.
A person’s name, on the other hand, is one of the first pieces of information a kid will share with everyone they meet for their entire lives. In Iceland, this girl named Girl wasn’t even allowed to use her given name.
This might be the most egotistical baby name we’ve ever heard, and we can probably all agree that we don't need more people on this planet who think they’re God’s gift to mankind.
There are enough of those already.
This one's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Name a baby Goodluck, and he or she will definitely need it. This is the kind of weird baby name that's fine for pets, but not so great for humans.
The sentiment is nice, but save Goodluck for a hamster and try a name like Fortuna instead. Just as lucky, much less cheesy.
Symbols and numbers aren't allowed to be used in names, but there's no reason you can't spell them out.
Some millennial parents really went there, naming their kid Hashtag. Their cousins are probably Comma, Ellipses and Emdash.
All babies wreak havoc on our lives a little. No need to rub it in.
Havoc sounds like the name of a chaotic child in a picture book, not a real person. Let’s keep this awful baby name a fictional one, please.
It’s very proper, we’ll give it that. It’s also one of the most ridiculous baby names ever.
What are the names of Henceforth’s siblings? "And So On" or "And So Forth?"
Well, first off, this is just inaccurate. After all, ice (and therefore water) can't stain things.
But any name with the word "stain" in it, accurate or not, just doesn't sound very appealing.
Anyone who'd like their baby to be cheap, fall apart under pressure and communicate poorly is encouraged to name them Ikea.
Moving soon? Have furniture to assemble? Maybe baby Ikea will be born speaking fluent Swedish with a passion for assembling inexpensive loft beds.
It's worth a try.
The appeal behind the name Isis is understandable. In ancient Egypt, Isis was the goddess of fertility, motherhood and healing. She was tremendously powerful, and her name was symbolic of protection and strength.
But her name took on another meaning when it was used as an acronym for the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, the violent militant group that's wreaked havoc in the Middle East for years.
The name and the legend that goes with it are beautiful, but it has too many negative associations to use it right now.
If you think your baby is royalty, we respect that. When you make an entire person, you deserve to be a little obsessed with them. Of all the royal names available, however, Jermajesty is just about the worst option.
You could have gone with Reina or Regina for a girl, or Reagan for a boy. There are dozens more, and all are better than Jermajesty.
It’s not entirely fair to include Kale on the list of the worst baby names. It’s a real name in Hawaii that means "strong and manly," so if you live in Hawaii, it’s actually cool.
Everywhere else, people are probably going to assume that your kiddo is being raised by an ultra-crunchy mom who exclusively shops at Whole Foods and posts on Instagram about how much yoga has changed her life.
You have to be kidding. What’s wrong with just calling her Kaitlyn? There’s nothing wrong with being named Kaitlyn. It’s a nice name.
There’s no need to bring Roman numerals into the equation.
Lasagna is beautiful. We’re not going to deny it. We’re just also not going to serve our prize-winning lasagna to our prize-winning Lasagna.
This is a terrible baby name reserved for people with a cat named Garfield and a terrible sense of humor.
It’s like Katrina, but with an L. What makes this one of the worst baby names ever is that there’s a good chance that the parents who chose it had no idea how close it was to the name for a toilet.
Not everyone knows what a latrine is. But, apparently, not everyone knows what a vagina is either because someone named their baby that, too.
This terrible baby name is pronounced "my lady." Yeah. Her kindergarten teacher will have to ask, "Do you need to use the bathroom, Milady?"
No, thank you.
Misery is a very emo name, we’ll give it that. It’s also incredibly depressing.
Imagine her in 25 or so years meeting her future in-laws. "Mom, Dad, meet Misery. She’s the light of my life."
By far one of the worst baby names we’ve come across is "Mister." As an affectionate nickname? Sure. As an actual legal name? Why? Do you hate your kid?
What if he becomes a teacher and the kids have to refer to him as Mr. Mister?
Musician Frank Zappa named his daughter Moon Unit. She was born before humans reached the moon, and she eventually came to terms with her unusual name.
Odd names seem to be easier to deal with for children of celebrities, though. If you’re an accountant considering naming your baby "Mars Rover," proceed with caution.
We hate to ask, but we have to. Was this name a reference to Netflix and chill? Some babies are named Paris, London or Victoria after the location they were, ahem, made, but Netflix?
Let’s not lower the bar that far. It’s barely off the ground as it is.
Compared to some of the other terrible baby names out there, Popeye isn't that bad. It's kind of cute, except that it's a recipe for a lifetime of teasing.
Firstly, everyone will end up calling him Pop. What 8-year-old wants to sound like a grandpa?
Secondly, imagine putting Popeye on a resume. The hiring manager would assume it was a prank.
Ever seen a business try to get a little too clever with their name and fail miserably? One family made that mistake.
The name Puzzle was born from a couple who struggled to conceive their third child. When they finally did, they considered her to be the missing piece of their family’s puzzle.
Touching, but way too literal.
No. Just no. Sure, kids are a riot in a figurative sense, but the word carries a much heavier meaning, too.
It’s creative, to be sure, but let’s avoid naming kids after destructive social upheavals, shall we?
It’s like Alexis, only ballin’. Or stupid. Take your pick. In our opinion, if you can afford a Rolex, you probably don’t feel the need to name your baby after it.
If you have to compensate for something, don’t use your kid’s name to do it. Just buy a lifted Dodge pickup and call it a day.
This one earned its place on the list of terrible baby names because of its roots, not the way it sounds. It sounds beautiful. Sativa. But it’s also a type of marijuana.
While many states are embracing its recreational use, it’s heavily stigmatized in many other areas. What if your kid moves to a more conservative state and has to write "Sativa" on a job application?
Do you see it yet? At first glance, Semaj seems like a name from a foreign language. Only it’s not. It’s James.
It’s literally just the name James spelled backward. Parents pulled this trick all the time during the ’90s. Think "Nevaeh," and "Xela." At least Nevaeh is pretty.
Of all the worst baby names around, this one isn’t really that bad. It’s highly eccentric, but there’s nothing inherently bad about it. If you want to name your kid Sparkly or Shimmery, go for it.
Naming them after glitter is a lot better than naming them after drugs or snack food.
We probably don't need to explain why this is one of the worst baby names ever. It’s in such remarkably poor taste.
Imagine the psychological trauma of having to take part in an active shooter drill at school, all with the name Shooter. Shudder.
If this were the name of a dog, we’d be cool with it. We’re guessing that the parents of this unfortunate baby chose this terrible baby name because they weren't permitted to name a child after a royal title, like Sir or Prince alone.
They got around the rule by smashing the two together. Ick.
We're at a loss for words. This is, without a doubt, one of the worst baby names a parent could possibly choose. We'd go as far as to say that any parent who's considering naming their baby after a dictator probably shouldn't be a parent at all.
If it's too late for that, they either need to refresh their knowledge of eighth grade history, or seriously rethink their life choices.
Maybe her parents met at Taco Tuesday? If you didn’t know, a taqueria is a type of Mexican restaurant specializing in tacos.
They’re amazing, but you can definitely think of a more inspirational name. Your child can be many things in life. Crispy shouldn’t be one of them.
Great name for a car. Not such a great name for a kid. One of the worst baby names ever, actually.
Do you want her to have an electric personality? Or have an illustrious career in STEM? She can do that without being named after a vehicle. Why not just name her sister Toyota while you’re at it.
This sounds like a name a really tired environmental biologist would pick. Mom’s asleep. Dad’s rushing in to visit his new baby after finishing a study on toads.
The nurse needs a name to put on the birth certificate, stat. Dad’s got nothing. All he can think of is toads.
Quit naming kids after food. Are you planning on eating them? What kind of Hansel and Gretel nonsense is this? Quiche was born in the year 1900 in Ohio.
Hopefully, there was never a Quiche Jr. Do you think Quiche’s middle name was Lorraine? Not even Gordon Ramsay would be that cruel.
How much do you have to love your country to name your kid Uncle Sam? We have nothing against patriotism. We love America as much as the next guy.
But when we yell, "Uncle Sam!" at a family reunion, we’d prefer to be greeting our actual uncle, not a toddler.
What a cheesy name. If you’re going to name your kid after cheese, why not go with something classy? What about Brie? Blue? Camembert?
Velveeta is one of the worst baby names we’ve heard, but we’ll wager one thing: It was definitely a name given in the U.S.
Non-Americans wouldn’t even eat Velveeta, let alone name their child after it.
Everyone learned to spell Wednesday by saying it in their heads as "Wed-nes-day." One parent must have found a little more meaning in that particular spelling lesson as the rest of us.
A kid named Wednesday is unique enough, like the ever-grumpy Wednesday Addams. Quirky, but so cool. It really doesn’t need any spicing up.
In 1954, two different babies were named Window. Maybe their parents were best friends. Maybe their mothers imagined them as beautiful windows of opportunity.
When God closes a door, he opens a window? We have no idea, but there are two Windows now in their 60s.
There's nothing inherently terrible about Yogi as a name. It's not trashy or inappropriate, and there's no reason to ban it, but it's still not the best choice for a baby name.
At best, the poor kid's peers will call him Yogi Bear. At worst, Yogi will actually develop an interest in yoga.
A yogi named Yogi seems excessive.
Number 16 Bus Shelter
This one isn’t in alphabetical order, but we couldn’t resist saving the best for last. Someone legitimately named their child "Number 16 Bus Shelter."
Somehow, New Zealand registration officials didn’t object. They did, however, nix "Fish and Chips" and "Sex Fruit."
Where do you think Number 16 Bus Shelter is now?
At first glance, this seems like a pretty normal name. When you sound it out, however, the issue is obvious: The name's really just a funky spelling of Olivia.
This name sprung up in the last decade when parents started going for originality and uniqueness. Spelling a traditional name in a convoluted way isn't as original as people seem to think.
Anyone unfamiliar with horses might assume the name Appaloosa had some kind of cultural significance. Appaloosa is actually the name of a horse breed.
A beautiful horse breed, but does anyone really want to be named after something that lives in a stable?
Diesel is a perfectly normal name in Germany, but in the U.S., most people associate it with gasoline. Edgy? Maybe, but it's also terrible for the environment.
On the upside, with gas prices skyrocketing, Diesel might become more of a symbol of royalty than the name Duke or King.
Look, we know every newborn baby is a miracle. Ahmiracle is a very real name, however, when it really shouldn't be.
While nicknames like Ahmi or Mira are sweet, what are the odds that a grown-up Ahmiracle will ever use their full name?
Plus, being a walking miracle is an awful lot of pressure.
Think you're indecisive? You can't be as bad as the parents who named their progeny Any. As in anything. As in, "We can't settle on a name, so just write down Any."
It could have been Amy, or Annie. But no.
We love cured sausage as much as the next guy, but naming our firstborn child Salami is where we draw the line. (Second child, maybe.)
It was selected back in the 1840s in England, but the inspiration behind it is unclear. Perhaps the happy couple discovered they were expecting over a cold-cut sub?
Cats named Kitty are fine. The same goes for mice named Mouse, or snakes named Snake. A dog named Puppy is iffier, because a dog is usually a full-fledged member of the family, more so than most other pets. If you wouldn't name a dog Dog, naming a baby Baby is just plain wrong.
What are they going to do when they're applying for a job? A resume with "Baby Jones, M.D." at the top looks like a practical joke.
Elmo is arguably the best Sesame Street character to grace public broadcasting, except maybe for Big Bird. The name was made famous by the fluffy red children's character, however, so any child named after him will be doomed to a lifetime of teasing.
We're grown up, but we already have Elmo's song stuck in our head, and would totally follow him around singing it.
Does this one really need an explanation? Fanny means something different in the U.S. than it does in the U.K., but neither definition is appropriate.
It's not a bad word, per se, but no one wants to be synonymous with the word "butt," either.
We have no words. Giving your child a unique name is one thing. Literally naming them "I'munique" is on a whole different level. A stupid level.
We hope no one ever reaches this level of ridiculous name selection ever again.
The name Loreal, without an apostrophe, has been around for decades. It's not common, but it's not that unusual either.
L'Oreal, however, is a direct shoutout to the beauty brand known for producing skin and hair care products.
Beauty is on the inside. A baby doesn't need to be named after makeup to stand out.
Merica, a shortened version of America, is a lovely name — if your definition of lovely is being the subject of scorn whenever poor Merica tries to travel abroad.
There's nothing wrong with the name America, nor the name Erica. But Merica originates from a mockery of American stereotypes.
Not exactly the gift you want to give your child for life.
Fast-forward 25 years. Ebolah's boyfriend, Malaria, gets down on one knee and proposes. Their love? Contagious. Their future kids? Probably named Swine Flu, Small Pox and Covid-19.
Don't name your kids after viruses, people. Unless your goal is to avoid hosting playdates, in which case Ebolah is the perfect name choice.
Sadman isn't all bad. In its language of origin (Arabic), Sadman means hopeful and happy.
It would be a wonderful name, if only its meaning in English wasn't the exact opposite.
The name Legend is cool if you get to choose it yourself. John Legend totally makes it work. He did, however, choose it as a last name. More importantly, he's a big enough character to handle such a dramatic name. Imagine if your accountant was named Legend.
None of us can predict what our kids will turn out like, so don't put too much pressure on them to become actual legends.
In 1859, a baby boy in Iowa was named Poof. He ran off to Alaska during the Klondike Gold Rush.
We're unsure whether or not he changed his name, but here's to hoping that he made it big and lived a long, happy life away from the family who chose such a silly name for him.
Once upon a time, in a faraway land called North Carolina, a Sucker was born. It was way back in 1896, but Sucker can't have had a positive meaning even back then.
Sucker's parents were the real suckers, because he probably moved out the second he turned 18 and never looked back.
One Too Many
Points for honesty, deductions for laziness and a terrible sense of humor.
This one was given to a child in the 1870s in Essex, England. It was selected because the family already had several mouths to feed and presumably hadn't planned on adding another.
Still, that's the parents' fault, not poor, innocent One Too Many.
The name Harry is perfectly fine. Hairy, not so much.
As if kids named Harry don't have it hard enough already with Harry Potter jokes floating around, someone decided to name their child Hairy. Yes, like hairy armpits.
Poor kid must have been a walking insult.
Using Aereola, or just plain Areola, as a name for a little girl isn't that big of a deal in some cultures. It means "chief of wealth" in Yoruba, and the word itself has a nice ring to it.
Unfortunately, its translation doesn't play out too well in English-speaking countries.
No, we're not joking. A woman did name her son "Vagina," and others have named their children "Yoni," which is the Sanskrit word for female reproductive organs.
According to Baby Names Pedia, Fury isn't in the top 1,000 baby names. Shocking, isn't it?
Who wouldn't want their child to be named after the most destructive human emotion?
Toadie is the name of a fictional character from an Australian soap opera called "Neighbors." He started out as a troubled teen, but evolved into a decent human being, albeit one with a dramatic love life.
One Reddit user shared that he knows a kid named Toadie, whose mom was an avid "Neighbors" fan. Yikes. It could be worse, though. The character's full name was Toadfish.
What can even be said about this terrible baby name? Undoubtedly, the parent who named their daughter Chlamidia probably had no idea it was the name of a venereal disease. Although the STD is spelled "Chlamydia."
In their defense, diarrhea would be a lovely name too if we didn't know what it meant. Perhaps we should start making unappealing nouns sound as disgusting so no one mistakenly names their child Malaria.
One Reddit user went to school with a girl named Aquanetta. Yes, like the hairspray.
Her mom saw the name on the side of a can at the drugstore and thought it was lovely.
Maybe her sister was named Herbal Essence to match?
Praise The Lord
One woman working in HR got a resume from a man whose legal name was Praise the Lord. He went by PTL for short.
We're all for religious freedom, but why not go with Christian? Poor PTL will be answering questions about his name wherever he goes.
You'd think this was the only unfortunate incident of parents bestowing a child with the same exact first and last name, but no.
There were also babies named Jack Jackson, Brian O'Brien, Kristoffer Kristofferson, Donna Lee Donnelly and Conner Conner.
We couldn't find proof of this one, but according to a Redditor who used to work for a cable company, this wasn't the only odd customer name on the books.
In addition to Dixon Butts, the Redditor answered a service call for a certain Chips Hamburger. Supposedly, these both were legal names the customers used on their service contracts with proof of ID.
It's Wednesday, only backward. So creative.
Yadnesdew was just silly. Ekatsim, on the other hand, is practically cruel. The origin of Ekatsim wasn't revealed until an elementary school teacher had students spell their names backward for fun.
The teacher had a few regrets once they got to Ekatsim, aka Mistake.
Velvet isn't the most shocking name, and it beats Velveeta by a country mile. The odd part is that Velvet's mother was also named Velvet.
We're guessing she had a brothers named Corduroy and Gingham.
Two moms were chatting at a birthday party about a little boy whose name was pronounced "Dayjohn." When asked about the origins of the name, the birthday boy's mom admitted she got the name off of a jar of French mustard.
Dijon. The kid's name was Dijon. We relish creativity, but this kid's name will definitely get him in a pickle or two.
Friday February Eleven
Another Redditor shared that they have a cousin named Friday February Eleven.
Perhaps under "Date of Birth," there's something mundane listed, like Karen.
When you're a babysitter, you run into some interesting name choices. One Redditor used to attend accounting conferences with her parents, who were both accountants. While she was there, she earned extra money by babysitting the kids of her parents' coworkers.
Everything was normal until she realized one of the little girls in her care was named Equity. So, yes, her parents did successfully build Equity.
To have the last name Christmas could be fun, but choosing the first name Mary is a low blow.
Holly and Ivy would be equally poor choices.
Charlie Brown is about as bad as Harry Potter. It was a normal name at some point, but to name a kid Charlie Brown now is just plain mean.
Why not name your twins Linus and Lucy while you're at it?
Bambi sounds more like a show name than a real one. Plus, didn't Bambi's mom die five minutes into the movie?
Seems like a poor choice for a baby name, but to each their own.
If someone named Trustme looked into your eyes and said, "Look. Can't you trust me?" would you?
If your only method of coming up with a unique baby name is by misspelling the word unique, maybe just give them an ordinary name instead. Emily is fine.
Not unique, but not the subject of years of teasing, either.
Lastly, someone had a classmate named Cas'Monae. Cas, or Cassie, is a sweet name, but Cas'Monae? As in Cash Money?
That has got to be one of the worst baby names anyone has come up with.
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