50 Funny Jokes That Will Have the Whole Family Laughing
Who doesn't love funny jokes? These silly family-friendly puns will make you, your kids, your grandparents and even your grumpy uncle LOL.
Some days, you need to just sit back, relax and enjoy some light-hearted puns. In fact, there’s no better way to spend quality time bonding with family than by laughing together at funny jokes.
As with any tame joke, this collection of puns will likely have you groaning as much as it has you giggling. But the clever wordplay and inherent goofiness are exactly the simple, silly medicine you need to let your brain take a little vacation and just enjoy passing the time. Don’t worry, there are plenty of funny jokes and puns to go around, keeping you and your family entertained for hours.
What a Tear Jerk-er
My sister was crying, so I asked her if she was having a cry-sis.
A Delicious Criticism
What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?
If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!
Nama-Stay Outta This One
When I told my family I was becoming a yoga instructor, they looked at me like I was a mat man.
That’s the Way the Cookie Crumbles
Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mother was a wafer so long!
This Joke Is Killer
I come from a proud family of accused murderers.
Growing up, my mom used to remind us, “You can always depend on the kindness of stranglers.”
More Like Queen Nefert-heehee
What did the baby Egyptian say when he got lost?
I want my mummy.
This Pun Is so Good It’s Making Me Jelly
Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Because his mom was in a jam!
Plastic Her-gery
My daughter says she wants her eyes, lips, nose and smile to be surgically reconstructed at the cost of thousands of dollars, but I think she’s just going through a face.
Oh, Baby!
When I promise to come up with a maternity pun, I deliver!
She Wasn’t Lyin’
What did the mother lion say to her cubs before dinner?
“Shall we prey?!”
Kiss Your Privacy Goodbye
When I have to kiss my relatives at family functions, it’s like the coming of the pack o’ lips.
An Oldie but a Goodie
My mom is amazing.
She told me, “Some women slow down in their 50s, but me no pause.”
Sick Pun, Bro
I always get sick when my cousin Enza comes to visit.
Last week, in flew Enza, and wouldn’t you know.
Out-of-This-World Humor
What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home?
“Where on Earth have you been?!”
What a Pickle
What did the pickle say to his dad?
I think you’re a pretty big dill.
Good Puns Come in Small Packages
What do you call a small mom?
Minimum.
I’m Gonna Tell Him A Joke He Can’t Refuse
Anyone who wanted to sell fish had to get permission from grandpa.
He was known as the cod father.
Chill, Dad
My daughter asked to go tobogganing.
I said, “Not with that sleddy outfit!”
This Joke Packs Quite a Crunch
What did the family of carrots say to their son at the soccer match?
We’re all rooting for you!
You Can’t Ignore the Signs
I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
New Complicated Technology, Same Simple Puns
Why is a computer so smart?
Because it listens to its motherboard.
It’s Got That Noodle Car Smell
My sister bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta.
Make Your Wallet Say Uncle
They gave my mother’s sister a speeding ticket, which hurts my fine auntses.
The Jokes Go Punning One by One
My mother destroyed my insect colony.
Such ma-level-ant behavior!
This Pun Has Some Real Gravity
Sick of hanging out with his aunt’s kids at family reunions, Newton went off and formulated the law of cousin affect.
For the Birds
What animal needs to wear a wig?
A bald eagle.
Hogs and Kisses
What do you give a pig with a rash?
Oinkment!
We Are All Astronauts
What should you give an astronaut?
Some space.
Keep Your Eyes on the Stars
What do shooting stars love to read?
Comic books.
Run, Orange, Run
Why did the orange lose the marathon?
It ran out of juice.
Frogs, They’re Just Like Us
What happens if a frog parks illegally?
They get toad.
Behind Every Smile, There’s Teeth
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Arrrrr…
How much did the pirate’s new earrings cost him?
A buccaneer!
Rock, Paper, Scissors
Have you heard the joke about paper?
Good that you haven’t — it’s tearable!
Keep on Counting
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
Dizzy in the Noodle
What do you call someone who dresses up like a noodle?
An impasta!
This Is Getting Hairy
Why did the barber win the race?
He knew a shortcut.
1, 2, 3…
I have a friend who really loves to count.
I wonder what he’s up to?
A Bee in Your Bonnet
Why do beekeepers have the most attractive eyes?
Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
All Bark, No Bite
A dog gave birth to puppies this morning.
The dog was given a fine for littering.
Ask Your Geometry Teacher
What do you call a rectangle that got into an accident?
A wrecked angle.
To the Moon and Back
Did you hear about the 5-star restaurant on the moon?
The food is out of this world, but it has no atmosphere.
Listen to More Music and Less Advice
I was wondering why music was coming from my printer?
Apparently, the paper was jamming.
Man’s Best Friend
What’s more amazing than a talking dog?
A spelling bee!
Dads Can Be Insistent
My dad really wanted me to make paper planes with him.
Eventually, I folded.
Life on the Farm
How did the farmer find his wife?
He tractor down.
Duck, Duck, Goose
What happens when you drop a duck egg on the ground?
It quacks.
Postage Paid
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me, and we’ll go places.
All You Need Is Love and Pizza
I know a good joke about pizza but I hate to tell it.
It’s way too cheesy.
Sneaky Elephants
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees?
They are really good at it.
